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10 Signs That Reveal a Toxic Mother

10 Signs That Reveal a Toxic Mother

toxic mother

Dealing with a toxic mother is hard and can leave you overwhelmed or drained. When this occurs, your mother will hurt you, using negative words and behaviors.

A toxic mother will mistreat you and have an inconsiderate attitude. It often involves feeling unloved or controlled as a child. You may not have ever felt your boundaries got respected by your mother.

You might experience negative vibes from her, and she continually makes rude or unnecessary comments. She might even taunt you or criticize your work. It’s not always easy to deal with a toxic mother, but there are ways you can handle it.

When you recognize the signs of a toxic mother, you can understand what you’re dealing with and know what to do.

NOTE: We acknowledge that fathers can also display toxic behaviors, so we cover them separately.

Ten Signs of a Toxic Mother

Having a toxic mother can result in negative repercussions for you, including the following:

Understanding these signs of a toxic mother can help you identify if that’s the issue in your life. Otherwise, it might simply be that you don’t get along well. However, if it’s toxic behavior that’s the problem, recognizing it can help you find ways to deal.

1 – A Toxic Mother Is Too Involved in Your Relationship or Marriage

When a mother is too involved in her child’s relationships, it’s a sign of toxicity. She shouldn’t offer unsolicited advice or tell you where to live and when to have children.

A mom shouldn’t feel the need to involve herself in every decision. However, if she’s toxic, she might try to persuade you from a relationship with your spouse. You might also notice that your mother is always around you and your spouse or partner. She’ll do this to know what you’re doing and where you’re going.

How to deal: Show her that you’re happy in your relationship.

Sometimes the best way to handle a toxic mother interfering with your relationship is to show her you’re happy. She might back off when she sees you and your partner supporting and being there for one another. That’s not always the case, but it’ll at least show her that her interference isn’t disrupting your happiness.

2 – Gifts Come with Conditions

When a toxic mother buys you something, there’ll be strings attached. She’ll want you to praise the gift and expect something out of you for it.

Gifts from her will never be something you can enjoy because you’ll always know that she wants something out of it. She might even buy expensive gifts to keep your children or partner on her side and to justify her mistreatment with the material items she provides.

How to deal: Recognize the issue and set boundaries

If your mom gives gifts with conditions, it’s a way of manipulating you. She often wants a larger request from you and forces you to give in based on what she gives you. Recognizing the issue can help you set boundaries and tell her that you won’t let her extravagant gifts influence your life.


3 – A Toxic Mother Overreacts to Conflict

Having differing opinions is okay, but a toxic mother overreacts to them. She’ll expect you to agree with her and can become angry when conflict arises between you. You’ll notice she expresses anger negatively, often saying hurtful things or becoming abusive.

How to deal: Stop trying to change her.

You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to be changed is detrimental to your well-being. It leads to continually wondering why you can’t change your mother and why she doesn’t want to do better.

Rather than focusing on these negative aspects of the situation, you can stop trying to change them. You already know how your mother will react, so accepting the experience can work to your advantage and prevent you from getting hurt.

4 – She Often Brings Up the Past

Toxic people often bring up things from the past to embarrass you or remind you of your mistakes. It won’t matter how much time passes; your toxic mother won’t let you forget these things. They’ll also often do this in front of others to make you look bad.

If your mother is like this, she’ll hold grudges and seek revenge. You might do something wrong or annoy her, and she’ll find ways to get back at you.

How to deal: Don’t overshare with her

Sometimes your mother might make you think you can trust her. Then, when you share details, she holds them against you. If you tell her that you made a mistake or didn’t do something the way she would have, she’ll continually bring it up.

She’ll also bring up situations when you acted wrongly toward her, despite the mistreatment you were reacting to. Avoiding sharing information with her is sometimes the best way to eliminate the issue. If she doesn’t know about these situations, she can’t bring them up.

5 – A Toxic Mother Is Overly Critical

A toxic mother will always find ways to put you down. It’ll seem like she judges your choices and isn’t happy about anything you do. You might feel like nothing you do pleases her and that she doesn’t like you much. She’ll find faults in everything you do, even when you’re doing a great job.

How to deal: Don’t try too hard to please her

You won’t please a toxic mother no matter what you do. She’ll always have something negative to say, and trying harder will only cause more work for you. Continue doing things as you do now because her demeaning remarks might not be accurate. Plus, the harder you try, the more critical she may become.

6 – She Turns People Against You

A toxic mother will try to turn others against you. She’ll ask you to do stuff she knows you’re not good at to make it look like you’re incapable. Then, she’ll say hurtful things to others to highlight your imperfections or shortcomings.

If she thinks your presence threatens her place in the family, she’ll lie about you or exaggerate situations to make you look bad. She’ll want you to look bad so others like her more and so that they don’t see the mistreatment for the toxicity it is.

How to deal: Defend Yourself Without Attacking Her

You don’t have to let her attack you, but you shouldn’t come at her that way. Vocalize how you feel to help her understand your feelings, but don’t try to seek revenge. You don’t have to say hurtful things or act against her to defend yourself.

7 – She Won’t Admit Mistakes

Someone who won’t admit when they’re wrong or made a mistake is often toxic. They’ll keep arguing their point even with evidence that it’s incorrect. She always wants to be right, even when it interferes with something else. You’ll also notice that she argues to win and not to teach you something beneficial.


How to deal: Forgive her

If you choose to have a relationship with a mother who won’t admit her mistakes, you must forgive her. Without forgiveness, you can’t have a healthy relationship. It involves forgiving all the wrong she did and benefits your peace of mind.

8 – A Toxic Mother Gives Unsolicited Advice

A toxic mother always has something to say, even when you don’t want her to. It’s her way of proving that she’s superior to you, allowing her to maintain control over the relationship. She’ll offer advice on everything and anything, even when you don’t want it, often knocking your efforts in the process.

How to deal: Release the negativity

Your mother’s advice might annoy you, but you don’t have to let the negativity affect you. Don’t react negatively, even when tempting, because it won’t help the situation.

Instead, release the negative feelings her advice brings and continue doing things as you typically would. It’ll likely annoy her more, but it helps you feel better about the situation and remember that this is your life, not hers.

9 – She Acts Like a Victim If You Confront Her

Hen you call out your mother for her toxic behavior, she likely plays the victim card and blames the issues on you. She’ll change her demeanor to make it look like she was doing the right thing and you’re being unreasonable.

A mother like this also doesn’t apologize often. When she does, It’ll be in a way that makes you feel bad and implies that she didn’t do anything wrong.

How to deal: Don’t react to her negative behavior

She likely wants you to react negatively to prove her point when she plays the victim card. Rather than letting it play out this way, try not to respond to her toxic behavior. Avoid any opportunity for her to cause a scene in front of others.

10 – She’s Inconsiderate

A toxic mother will make you feel unimportant by being inconsiderate when planning family events. She might forget to invite you to family gatherings and leave little time to prepare when she remembers. Sometimes you might even notice that she plans things opposite to your schedule.

At family gatherings, she might talk to everyone but you. When she does acknowledge you, it’s often to tease or mock you. She’ll also ignore your suggestions no matter how good they are.

A mother like this will expect you to go along with whatever she wants and works for her. You must follow her wishes and submit to her demands to get along with her. Sometimes she’ll even want you to change your lifestyle to adapt to what she wants.

How to deal: Prepare for these situations

When you recognize inconsiderate behaviors from your mother, you can handle the experience by preparing for it. You can expect this behavior from her, so you can note the issues and avoid them. When her inconsiderate behavior doesn’t faze you, she’ll be annoyed, but it won’t affect you as much.

toxic parents

Final Thoughts on Signs That Reveal a Toxic Mother

Growing up with a toxic mother often affects you into adulthood. It can interfere with how you interact with your children and other people in your life. This lifestyle can lead to continuing the same patterns later, even if you swore you would. Visiting a professional for therapy can help you identify the issue and find ways to cope with it.

Dealing with a toxic mother can be tricky. But you are strong enough to handle it. Have faith in yourself and stay firm in your boundaries. You deserve respect, and it can help when you learn to deal with a toxic mother can help you entice it.


How To Stop Smoking Using These 12 Steps

Many Christians who have been heavy smokers for years can readily empathize with the plight of anyone looking for how to stop smoking and can fully understand the struggle experienced by those who desire to quit. Quitting is certainly not easy, but it can be done. Many two-pack-a-day smokers are now smoke-free and can attest to the fact that it can be done when we turn the matter over to God and rely on His strength and power.

Those who have determined to quit smoking should understand that, humanly speaking, stopping smoking is one of the most difficult things to do. Research has shown that nicotine is very addictive, even more addictive than heroin, some say.

But the addictive nature of nicotine need not discourage us. Paul tells us, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NKJV). Even though it is difficult, and full withdrawal may take time before one no longer desires cigarettes, as Christians we are to look to God from whom our help comes. We set our hearts on things above and pray the Lord will give us the strength to gain the victory in this trial. Some people leave the Lord out in their attempt to overcome bad habits, and that is a huge mistake. Prayer helps in these types of situations, and we are invited to take our problems directly to the throne of God and to Him who can solve them (Hebrews 4:16).

These steps numbered below are crafted to help anyone trying to quit just about anything. Maybe you’ve never thought of using them to help quit smoking, but they can be extremely helpful when combined with seeking wholeness through a relationship with Jesus Christ. What have you got to lose? Whether it’s you or someone you know who wants to quit smoking for good, give these steps a chance to change your life forever. When working this program, do take it a step at a time – not all at once in the beginning.

Here Are 12 Steps On How To Stop Smoking

Step 1 – If you’ve tried more than once to quit smoking, you may have tried the gum, lozenges, pills, and maybe even hypnotism. But you’re still smoking. It’s got you; you don’t have it. Just get real and say, “I admit I am powerless over smoking cigarettes.” Believe it, because it’s true.

Step 2 – Do you believe that God Almighty is able to give you a life without cigarettes? Or are you stuck believing that there is no power great enough to get smoking out of your life? If you believe God has the power, then meditate on His ability to do marvelous works. Stop listening to doubt and the enemy’s constant reminders of your failed attempts. Simply believe in God’s ability, not your own.

Step 3 – Through the working of the Holy Spirit, CHOOSE to hand this battle over to God. He is your only chance, your mighty warrior! Any time you feel the urge to smoke, pray instead! This is choosing to turn your life and your will over to God. Tell Him when you want a cigarette. Tell Him that you trust He can do a better job of keeping you from smoking than you can. Ask the Lord to take it from you and thank Him as you trust that He will be willing and able to set you free. Believe in the power that you feel when you pray to God. The enemy has kept a powerful grip on you through your inability to quit before and he will remind you of that during this time. Don’t believe the lie. Call out to the Lord and claim through the name of Jesus Christ that you will not be held in bondage by cigarettes. Choose to pray until the urge is over. Pray each and every time the desire comes again.

Steps 4 & 5 – Take a look at the patterns in your life that send you into, “I’ve got to have a cigarette” mode. This is a moral inventory. Are these moments that really belong to God instead of your cigarette? The kids are driving you nuts, another costly car repair is needed, you found out about someone doing you wrong, you are caught up in a sin that you know is wrong – are these times for a smoke? Have you made smoking your God? He deserves to hear your problems, your confessions, and be your comfort! Can you confess to God and to another human being that you’ve been treating God like He’s not as much comfort as your cigarettes? If you can, you’re taking steps in the right direction!

Steps 6 & 7 – Will you allow yourself to be entirely ready to have God remove all your desire for smoking? Can you picture your life without cigarettes? Will you get on your knees before Him and ask Him to remove this life pattern of smoking to deal with your issues in life? You might want to ask the Lord Jesus to go to the deeper places of your soul and remove your pattern of seeking this kind of relief; expose to you the truths of why you have done this for so long. Maybe you are having a hard time believing you can live without cigarettes. Take your unbelief to Christ. Ask Him to take your destructive behavior away and let you live with God as your sole source of refuge.

Steps 8 & 9 – Make a list of all the people you can remember who asked you to please quit smoking. Believe it or not, it hurt some of them that you kept on smoking. If your children begged you to quit, they may have felt they were the reason you smoked or that you didn’t love them enough to quit or some other reasoning they took to heart. They may have wanted you to love yourself enough to quit increasing your chance of getting cancer and it hurt them to see you not love yourself. Your spouse, parents, siblings, employers, employees, old friends – do a thorough list of who you may have hurt. Some may have been irritated by the smoke and felt disrespected that you chose to keep smoke in their environment even though they complained. Go to them (if you can) and tell them you’re sorry.

Step 10 – Now that you’re allowing God to remove this from your life, you will be convicted of new ways that you’re substituting your old pattern. Maybe now you eat too much when you’re sad or anxious. In step 10, you continue to take personal inventory and when you see yourself choosing a destructive pattern, you admit it right away and turn away from it.

Steps 11 & 12 – Stay close to God. Stay closer to Him than you did to cigarettes. Continually seek to know Him and His will for your life. Think of the number of times you picked up a cigarette each day. In your changed life, you will find the blessing of praying that number of times each day instead. What a glorious new life without smoking! You smell better, breathe easier, and cough less. Plus, you’ve gotten closer to God. Now tell others how you did this with God’s help. Your personal testimony is your 12th step. How did He get you clean from cigarettes? He can use this truth to touch lives through the working of His Holy Spirit that you’ll never know about.

Relying on the power of the Holy Spirit does not necessarily mean that medical stop-smoking aids cannot be used as well. Many have received great help through patches, gums, pills, etc. After prayer and consultation with a doctor, if God gives you peace about using a medical stop-smoking aid, there is no biblical reason why you cannot.

God has declared that His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). Where we are weak, He is strong. Our desire for cigarettes will be reduced as we grow and gain strength in the Lord. The power of God will work within us to alleviate the pressure to smoke, all to His glory. God will give us the strength to put Christ first and ourselves last. In this we will find that what we give up will be more than compensated by what we gain.

Being immersed in the Word of God is essential for the Christian who desires to quit smoking. Here are some verses to memorize and meditate on—verses that have helped others gain the victory over a smoking addiction:

John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:36, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

1 Corinthians 6:19–20, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

Hebrews 12:1–2, “Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

Romans 13:14, “Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”

1 Corinthians 9:27, “I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”

Matthew 19:26, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Ephesians 4:22, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires.”

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Can you see working these steps to quit smoking? Have you ever tried to quit this way before? Please feel free to post your feelings on this topic!

How To Conquer Evil Thoughts

Many Christians are discouraged because they are unable to conquer impure habits. Impure habits are a by-product of impure thoughts, and only as the battle is won in the thought life will there be hope of victory over impure actions.

Satan wants you to believe that you’re the only one who has this problem and that you can’t gain victory over it. However, these beliefs are false. We are overtaken by temptations that are common (see I Corinthians 10:13), and in Christ we have victory over the destructive power of sin. (See Romans 6:22 and 8:2.) By God’s grace, as you follow His plan, you can conquer impure thoughts.

Realize that Christ has already made provision for your victory.

Christ has already won our victory on the cross. “God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine [instruction] which was delivered to you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness” (Romans 6:17–18).

However, you must choose to walk in that victory. Daniel “purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself” (Daniel 1:8). Every believer needs to make that decision as well. God promises, “If from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul” (Deuteronomy 4:29).

In the war against impure thoughts, you may lose some battles. These losses should only increase your determination to win the war. If you expect to win the war without ever losing a battle, you will become discouraged.

God can redeem each defeat by revealing the root cause of each failure. Ask Him for wisdom and help as you discern the root causes of your impure thoughts and actions.

Keep these truths in mind:

  • You will never face a temptation that is impossible to overcome. (See I Corinthians 10:13.)
  • God is eager to give you all the grace you need to reject the temptation. (See Hebrews 4:16.)
  • God promises to give you wisdom, but you must ask for it in faith. (See James 1:6–8.)

Replace the secret pictures that exist in the gallery of your mind.

At the heart of impure thoughts are secret, wicked pictures in our minds. During times of temptation, we often “revive” these pictures and focus on them. Attempts to forget the pictures usually fail. However, as we superimpose God’s pictures over them, we will experience freedom from the influence of the evil pictures.

When you face temptations, picture Christ suffering for you. The first vivid image you should visualize is that of Christ being bruised for your iniquities. Visualize your sins nailing Him to the cross, and consider the pain He experienced in paying for the debt of your sins. Gratefully rejoice that He died to free you from impurity. (See Isaiah 53:5 and Romans 6:6.)

The next series of pictures in your mind should be images of men in Scripture who lost the battle against impurity: Samson with his eyes gouged out and David with a divided family and kingdom. (See Judges 16:21 and I Chronicles 22:7–8.) Contemplate the horrible consequences of sin.

Make a covenant with your eyes.

One of the main keys to protecting the mind from temptation is control of the eyes. Job was one of the most righteous men who ever lived, and a key to his righteousness is found in Job 31:1: “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think [lustfully] upon a maid?” To guard against impure thoughts, we must guard our eyes from evil. What your eyes see affects your whole body—physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Scripture tells us that the eye is the lamp of the body. When it is “evil” with impure thoughts, the whole body will be full of darkness. (See Matthew 6:22–23.)

If you yield control of your eyes to God, He can train you to see others as He sees them. When you are tempted to sin against someone with thoughts of lust or greed or other wickedness, ask God to give you grace to see that person as He does. As the Lord grants your request:

  • You can visualize that person as a radiant expression of Christ. (See Colossians 1:28.)
  • You can invest in that person’s life through prayer. (See James 5:13–18.)
  • You can trust God to deliver you from temptation. (See I Corinthians 10:12–13.)
  • You will walk in freedom from sinful thoughts toward that person. (See Romans 12:2.)

Correctly identify the battlefield.

The battle against impure thoughts is far more than a mental or physical struggle—it is a spiritual battle against forces of evil. (See Ephesians 6:12.) God wants us to resist the devil (see James 4:7), and He also knows that our natural inclinations easily betray us. They betray us to the delusive, glamorous, and temporal pleasures that Satan offers. (See Romans 7:14–25.)

God wants to use the pressure of the battle in your mind to motivate you to “grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (II Peter 3:18). God wants to transform you by renewing your mind, and He renews your mind through His Word. (See Romans 12:1–2, Ephesians 4:23, and Hebrews 4:12.)

Remove hidden provisions for defeat.

Scripture declares, “Put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof” (Romans 13:14). Any provision for the flesh not only proves that you expect to fail, but it actually invites you to give in to temptation. It provides tempting possibilities for the mind, stirs up the emotions, and then defeats the will.

In Proverbs 4:14–15 we are told to not walk in the way of the evil, to completely avoid and turn away from it. Remove from your life the things that Satan uses for your defeat: wicked books or magazines, sensual music, sensual pictures, ungodly friendships, or sinful activities. As you remove these sources of temptation from your life, you can avoid entering the path of evil.

Realize that winning a war involves fighting many battles.

Many of the accounts in the Bible are given to us as examples of the battles we will face in our lives. (See I Corinthians 10:6.) Scripture is filled with examples and reminders that we need great determination to wage the battle against impure thoughts. (See Proverbs 24:10, Matthew 26:40–41, and II Thessalonians 3:13.)

In warfare, the more entrenched the enemy is, the longer it can take to have complete victory, and it may not come after one battle. Be ready for additional attacks, because our adversary goes about as a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. (See I Peter 5:8–9.)

Remember that it is God’s power at work in you that will bring victory.

Keep in mind that this battle will be won by God’s strength in you, not by your own strength“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). (See also Zechariah 4:6.) It doesn’t matter what Satan brings against us; God’s power in His people will always be greater than Satan’s attacks.

Learn to live in the fear of God.

The Bible says that “by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil” (Proverbs 16:6). One aspect of having a proper fear of the Lord is a moment-by-moment awareness that God is watching and weighing every one of our words, thoughts, actions, and attitudes.

A sincere Christian cannot enjoy sensual thoughts unless he temporarily blots the presence of a Holy God from his consciousness. If you walk in the fear of the Lord and consequently realize that God is evaluating every one of your thoughts (and He is), it will help you quickly reject impure thoughts.

Learn to use the sword of the Spirit.

The Apostle Paul urged believers to “be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might” (Ephesians 6:10) and to put on the spiritual armor God has given us. (See Ephesians 6:11–12.) Included in this armor is the “sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:17).

Jesus responded to the temptation of Satan with the Word of God. In the same manner, when tempted, believers are to resist the devil and confidently wield the sword of the Spirit: the Word of God.

Memorize verses such as Proverbs 15:3, Proverbs 5:21, and Psalm 139:4, so that they can serve as constant reminders of God’s presence and thus encourage you to walk in the fear of the Lord. The concepts in Romans 6 describe the victory that believers have in Christ, and this passage has helped many experience moral freedom. Engraft these and other Scriptures into your mind and heart by memorizing and meditating on them and applying them to your life. When temptations arise, speak the truth of the Word of God to help you maintain victory.

Ask God to give you a pure (clean) heart.

Ask God to give you a pure heart as King David did after his sinful acts with Bathsheba: “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10). When a man or woman has a pure heart and a Godly countenance, he or she will project to others an awareness of God’s presence. This results in a wall of protection and restraint.

Learn God’s limitation to curiosity.

Beware of undisciplined curiosity. It is one of Satan’s most effective traps. God has given us a marvelous intellect, but with it He gave a limitation: we are not to learn the details of evil.

God would have us to be “wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil” (Romans 16:19). He never intended that we learn evil with the mind or through experience, but rather, He wants us to discern evil under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. (See I Corinthians 2:12, 15–16.)

Become mighty in God’s Spirit.

All believers face the battle against impure thoughts. “The flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh” (Galatians 5:17). To become mighty in God’s Spirit you must conquer impure thoughts, and that requires a decision on your part: a decision to obey God.

We are told, “Gird up the loins of your mind … as obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation [behavior]” (I Peter 1:13–15). In practical application, this means that we must remove from our eyes and minds a host of books, magazines, television programs, Internet sites, various types of entertainment, and discussions that appeal to the lust of the flesh.

Replace the things that draw you into impurity with activities that strengthen your spirit. Deepen your walk with God through prayer, Bible study, worship, fellowship with Godly Christians, and engrafting God’s Word into your heart and life. Strengthening your spirit in these ways will help you win the war against lust.

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:7–9).

Use temptations as signals to seek God.

Temptations are often based on legitimate human needs. Satan wants us to satisfy those needs with sinful choices, but God wants us to give Him our needs and trust Him to meet them in His time and in His way. Therefore, we should ask God to turn each temptation into a signal to seek Him and learn His ways.

Jesus wants us to come to Him, take up His yoke, and learn from Him. (See Matthew 11:28–30.) God can show us how to respond to temptation by using the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. (See Ephesians 6:17.) As we do so, God will lead us out of temptation and “deliver us from evil” (Matthew 6:13).

Sinful desires—temptations—can be transformed into paths to spiritual power. Some of our greatest insights about the Lord and His ways will grow out of these struggles.

Realize that victory is possible.

Although in the past we all have fulfilled the lusts of the flesh, now, through Christ, we can say no to temptation and walk in victory. (See Ephesians 2:1–10 and Ephesians 1:17–19.)

As you understand what Christ has done for you, remove hidden provisions for defeat, live in the fear of the Lord, become mighty in Spirit, and use temptations as signals to seek God, you will conquer impure thoughts. And as you win the battle over impure thoughts, impure habits will be purged from your life.

How to Stop Smoking. (A Comprehensive Guide)

Are you ready to stop smoking? These guide will help you kick the cigarette habit for good.

Why is quitting so hard?

We all know the health risks of smoking, but that doesn’t make it any easier to kick the habit. Whether you’re an occasional teen smoker or a lifetime pack-a-day smoker, quitting can be really tough.

Smoking tobacco is both a physical addiction and a psychological habit. The nicotine from cigarettes provides a temporary—and addictive—high. Eliminating that regular fix of nicotine causes your body to experience physical withdrawal symptoms and cravings. Because of nicotine’s “feel good” effect on the brain, you may turn to cigarettes as a quick and reliable way to boost your outlook, relieve stress, and unwind. Smoking can also be a way of coping with depression, anxiety, or even boredom. Quitting means finding different, healthier ways to cope with those feelings.

Smoking is also ingrained as a daily ritual. It may be an automatic response for you to smoke a cigarette with your morning coffee, while taking a break at work or school, or on your commute home at the end of a hectic day. Or maybe your friends, family, or colleagues smoke, and it’s become part of the way you relate with them.

To successfully stop smoking, you’ll need to address both the addiction and the habits and routines that go along with it. But it can be done. With the right support and quit plan, any smoker can kick the addiction—even if you’ve tried and failed multiple times before.

Your personal stop smoking plan

While some smokers successfully quit by going cold turkey, most people do better with a tailored plan to keep themselves on track. A good quit plan addresses both the short-term challenge of stopping smoking and the long-term challenge of preventing relapse. It should also be tailored to your specific needs and smoking habits.

Questions to ask yourself

Take the time to think of what kind of smoker you are, which moments of your life call for a cigarette, and why. This will help you to identify which tips, techniques, or therapies may be most beneficial for you.

Are you a very heavy smoker (more than a pack a day)? Or are you more of a social smoker? Would a simple nicotine patch do the job?

Are there certain activities, places, or people you associate with smoking? Do you feel the need to smoke after every meal or whenever you break for coffee?

Do you reach for cigarettes when you’re feeling stressed or down? Or is your cigarette smoking linked to other addictions, such as alcohol or gambling?

Start your stop smoking plan with START

S = Set a quit date.

Choose a date within the next two weeks, so you have enough time to prepare without losing your motivation to quit. If you mainly smoke at work, quit on the weekend, so you have a few days to adjust to the change.

T = Tell family, friends, and co-workers that you plan to quit.

Let your friends and family in on your plan to quit smoking and tell them you need their support and encouragement to stop. Look for a quit buddy who wants to stop smoking as well. You can help each other get through the rough times.

A = Anticipate and plan for the challenges you’ll face while quitting.

Most people who begin smoking again do so within the first three months. You can help yourself make it through by preparing ahead for common challenges, such as nicotine withdrawal and cigarette cravings.

R = Remove cigarettes and other tobacco products from your home, car, and work.

Throw away all of your cigarettes, lighters, ashtrays, and matches. Wash your clothes and freshen up anything that smells like smoke. Shampoo your car, clean your drapes and carpet, and steam your furniture.

T = Talk to your doctor about getting help to quit.

Your doctor can prescribe medication to help with withdrawal symptoms. If you can’t see a doctor, you can get many products over the counter at your local pharmacy, including nicotine patches, lozenges, and gum.

Identify your smoking triggers

One of the best things you can do to help yourself quit is to identify the things that make you want to smoke, including specific situations, activities, feelings, and people.

Keep a craving journal

A craving journal can help you zero in on your patterns and triggers. For a week or so leading up to your quit date, keep a log of your smoking. Note the moments in each day when you crave a cigarette:

  1. What time was it?
  2. How intense was the craving (on a scale of 1-10)?
  3. What were you doing?
  4. Who were you with?
  5. How were you feeling?
  6. How did you feel after smoking?

Do you smoke to relieve unpleasant feelings?

Many of us smoke to manage unpleasant feelings such as stress, depression, loneliness, and anxiety. When you have a bad day, it can seem like cigarettes are your only friend. As much comfort as cigarettes provide, though, it’s important to remember that there are healthier and more effective ways to keep unpleasant feelings in check. These may include exercising, meditating, relaxation strategies, or simple breathing exercises.

For many people, an important aspect of giving up smoking is to find alternate ways to handle these difficult feelings without turning to cigarettes. Even when cigarettes are no longer a part of your life, the painful and unpleasant feelings that may have prompted you to smoke in the past will still remain. So it’s worth spending some time thinking about the different ways you intend to deal with stressful situations and the daily irritations that would normally have you lighting up.

Tips for avoiding common triggers

Alcohol. Many people smoke when they drink. Try switching to non-alcoholic drinks or drink only in places where smoking inside is prohibited. Alternatively, try snacking on nuts, chewing on a cocktail stick or sucking on a straw.

Other smokers. When friends, family, and co-workers smoke around you, it can be doubly difficult to give up or avoid relapse. Talk about your decision to quit so people know they won’t be able to smoke when you’re in the car with them or taking a coffee break together. In your workplace, find non-smokers to have your breaks with or find other things to do, such as taking a walk.

End of a meal. For some smokers, ending a meal means lighting up, and the prospect of giving that up may appear daunting. However, you can try replacing that moment after a meal with something else, such as a piece of fruit, a healthy dessert, a square of chocolate, or a stick of gum.

Coping with nicotine withdrawal symptoms

Once you stop smoking, you’ll likely experience a number of physical symptoms as your body withdraws from nicotine. Nicotine withdrawal begins quickly, usually starting within an hour of the last cigarette and peaking two to three days later. Withdrawal symptoms can last for a few days to several weeks and differ from person to person.

Common nicotine withdrawal symptoms include:

  1. Cigarette cravings
  2. Irritability, frustration, or anger
  3. Anxiety or nervousness
  4. Difficulty concentrating
  5. Restlessness
  6. Increased appetite
  7. Headaches
  1. Insomnia
  2. Tremors
  3. Increased coughing
  4. Fatigue
  5. Constipation or upset stomach
  6. Depression
  7. Decreased heart rate

As unpleasant as these withdrawal symptoms may be, it’s important to remember that they are only temporary. They will get better in a few weeks as the toxins are flushed from your body. In the meantime, let your friends and family know that you won’t be your usual self and ask for their understanding.

Manage cigarette cravings

While avoiding smoking triggers will help reduce your urge to smoke, you probably can’t avoid cigarette cravings entirely. Fortunately, cravings don’t last long—typically, about 5 or 10 minutes. If you’re tempted to light up, remind yourself that the craving will soon pass and try to wait it out. It helps to be prepared in advance by having strategies to cope with cravings.

Distract yourself. Do the dishes, turn on the TV, take a shower, or call a friend. The activity doesn’t matter as long as it gets your mind off smoking.

Remind yourself why you quit. Focus on your reasons for quitting, including the health benefits (lowering your risk for heart disease and lung cancer, for example), improved appearance, money you’re saving, and enhanced self-esteem.

Get out of a tempting situation. Where you are or what you’re doing may be triggering the craving. If so, a change of scenery can make all the difference.

Reward yourself. Reinforce your victories. Whenever you triumph over a craving, give yourself a reward to keep yourself motivated.

Coping with cigarette cravings in the moment

Find an oral substitute – Keep other things around to pop in your mouth when cravings hit. Try mints, carrot or celery sticks, gum, or sunflower seeds. Or suck on a drinking straw.

Keep your mind busy – Read a book or magazine, listen to some music you love, do a crossword or Sudoku puzzle, or play an online game.

Keep your hands busy – Squeeze balls, pencils, or paper clips are good substitutes to satisfy that need for tactile stimulation.

Brush your teeth – The just-brushed, clean feeling can help banish cigarette cravings.

Drink water – Slowly drink a large glass of water. Not only will it help the craving pass, but staying hydrated helps minimize the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal.

Light something else – Instead of lighting a cigarette, light a candle or some incense.

Get active – Go for a walk, do some jumping jacks or pushups, try some yoga stretches, or run around the block.

Try to relax – Do something that calms you down, such as taking a warm bath, meditating, reading a book, or practicing deep breathing exercises.

Go somewhere smoking is not permitted – Step into a public building, store, mall, coffee shop, or movie theatre, for example.

Preventing weight gain after you stop smoking

Smoking acts as an appetite suppressant, so gaining weight is a common concern for many of us when we decide to give up cigarettes. You may even be using it as a reason not to quit. While it’s true that many smokers put on weight within six months of stopping smoking, the gain is usually small—about five pounds on average—and that initial gain decreases over time. It’s also important to remember that carrying a few extra pounds for a few months won’t hurt your heart as much as smoking does. However, gaining weight is NOT inevitable when you stop smoking.

Smoking dampens your sense of smell and taste, so after you quit food will often seem more appealing. You may also gain weight if you replace the oral gratification of smoking with eating unhealthy comfort foods. Therefore, it’s important to find other, healthy ways to deal with unpleasant feelings such as stress, anxiety, or boredom rather than mindless, emotional eating.

Nurture yourself. Instead of turning to cigarettes or food when you feel stressed, anxious, or depressed, learn new ways to quickly soothe yourself. Listen to uplifting music, play with a pet, or sip a cup of hot tea, for example.

Eat healthy, varied meals. Eat plenty of fruit, vegetables, and healthy fats. Avoid sugary food, sodas, fried, and convenience food.

Learn to eat mindfully. Emotional eating tends to be automatic and virtually mindless. It’s easy to polish off a tub of ice cream while zoning out in front of the TV or staring at your phone. But by removing distractions when you eat, it’s easier to focus on how much you’re eating and tune into your body and how you’re really feeling. Are you really still hungry or eating for another reason?

Drink lots of water. Drinking at least six to eight 8 oz. glasses will help you feel full and keep you from eating when you’re not hungry. Water will also help flush toxins from your body.

Take a walk. Not only will it help you burn calories and keep the weight off, but it will also help alleviate feelings of stress and frustration that accompany smoking withdrawal.

Snack on guilt-free foods. Good choices include sugar-free gum, carrot and celery sticks, or sliced bell peppers or jicama.

Medication and therapy to help you quit

There are many different methods that have successfully helped people to kick the smoking habit. While you may be successful with the first method you try, more likely you’ll have to try a number of different methods or a combination of treatments to find the ones that work best for you.


Smoking cessation medications can ease withdrawal symptoms and reduce cravings. They are most effective when used as part of a comprehensive stop smoking program monitored by your physician. Talk to your doctor about your options and whether an anti-smoking medication is right for you. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved options are:

Nicotine replacement therapy. Nicotine replacement therapy involves “replacing” cigarettes with other nicotine substitutes, such as nicotine gum, patch, lozenge, inhaler, or nasal spray. It relieves some of the withdrawal symptoms by delivering small and steady doses of nicotine into your body without the tars and poisonous gases found in cigarettes. This type of treatment helps you focus on breaking your psychological addiction and makes it easier to concentrate on learning new behaviors and coping skills.

Non-nicotine medication. These medications help you stop smoking by reducing cravings and withdrawal symptoms without the use of nicotine. Medications such as bupropion (Zyban) and varenicline (Chantix, Champix) are intended for short-term use only.

What you need to know about e-cigarettes (vaping)

While some people find that vaping can help them to stop smoking, the FDA has not approved vaping as a method of smoking cessation. And recent news reports have even linked vaping to severe lung disease, prompting many questions about the safety of vaping. Here’s what you need to know:

  • In the United States, the FDA does not regulate e-cigarette products.
  • The FDA warns that vaping is “not safe for youth, young adults, pregnant women, or adults who do not currently use tobacco products.”
  • It’s hard to always know exactly what’s in e-cigarettes.
  • The liquid used in some e-cigarettes contains nicotine, which has many negative health effects. It can lead to high blood pressure and diabetes and can be especially dangerous to the developing brains of children and teens.
  • There is no information available about the long-term effects vaping can have on your health.
  • Until more is known, federal and state authorities recommend avoiding all vaping.

Also Read: How To Stop Pornography Addiction

Alternative therapies

There are several things you can do to stop smoking that don’t involve nicotine replacement therapy, vaping, or prescription medications. These include:

Hypnosis – This is a popular option that has produced good results for many smokers struggling to quit. Forget anything you may have seen from stage hypnotists, hypnosis works by getting you into a deeply relaxed state where you are open to suggestions that strengthen your resolve to stop smoking and increase your negative feelings toward cigarettes.

Acupuncture – One of the oldest known medical techniques, acupuncture is believed to work by triggering the release of endorphins (natural pain relievers) that allow the body to relax. As a smoking cessation aid, acupuncture can be helpful in managing smoking withdrawal symptoms.

Behavioral Therapy – Nicotine addiction is related to the habitual behaviors or rituals involved in smoking. Behavior therapy focuses on learning new coping skills and breaking those habits.

Motivational Therapies – Self-help books and websites can provide a number of ways to motivate yourself to give up smoking. One well known example is calculating the monetary savings. Some people have been able to find the motivation to quit just by calculating how much money they will save. It may be enough to pay for a summer vacation.

Smokeless or spit tobacco is NOT a healthy alternative to smoking

Smokeless tobacco, otherwise known as spit or chewing tobacco, is not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes. It contains the same addictive chemical, nicotine, contained in cigarettes. In fact, the amount of nicotine absorbed from smokeless tobacco can be 3 to 4 times the amount delivered by a cigarette.

What to do if you slip or relapse

Most people try to stop smoking several times before they kick the habit for good, so don’t beat yourself up if you slip up and smoke a cigarette. Instead, turn the relapse into a rebound by learning from your mistake. Analyze what happened right before you started smoking again, identify the triggers or trouble spots you ran into, and make a new stop-smoking plan that eliminates them.

It’s also important to emphasize the difference between a slip and a relapse. If you start smoking again, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get back on the wagon. You can choose to learn from the slip and let it motivate you to try harder or you can use it as an excuse to go back to your smoking habit. But the choice is yours. A slip doesn’t have to turn into a full-blown relapse.

You’re not a failure if you slip up. It doesn’t mean you can’t quit for good.

Don’t let a slip become a mudslide. Throw out the rest of the pack. It’s important to get back on the non-smoking track as soon as possible.

Look back at your quit log and feel good about the time you went without smoking.

Find the trigger. Exactly what was it that made you smoke again? Decide how you will cope with that issue the next time it comes up.

Learn from your experience. What has been most helpful? What didn’t work?

Are you using a medicine to help you quit? Call your doctor if you start smoking again. Some medicines cannot be used if you’re smoking at the same time.

Helping a loved one to stop smoking

It’s important to remember that you cannot make a friend or loved one give up cigarettes; the decision has to be theirs. But if they do make the decision to stop smoking, you can offer support and encouragement and try to ease the stress of quitting. Investigate the different treatment options available and talk them through with the smoker; just be careful never to preach or judge. You can also help a smoker overcome cravings by pursuing other activities with them, and by keeping smoking substitutes, such as gum, on hand.

If a loved one slips or relapses, don’t make them feel guilty. Congratulate them on the time they went without cigarettes and encourage them to try again. Your support can make all the difference in helping your loved one eventually kick the habit for good.

Helping a teen to quit

Most smokers try their first cigarette around the age of 11, and many are addicted by the time they turn 14. The use of e-cigarettes (vaping) has also soared dramatically in recent years. While the health implications of vaping aren’t yet fully known, the FDA warns that it’s not safe for teens and we do know that teens who vape are more likely to begin smoking cigarettes.

This can be worrying for parents, but it’s important to appreciate the unique challenges and peer pressure teens face when it comes to quitting smoking (or vaping). While the decision to give up has to come from the teen smoker him- or herself, there are still plenty of ways for you to help.

Tips for parents of teens who smoke or vape

  • Find out why your teen is smoking or vaping; they may want to be accepted by their peers or be seeking attention from you. Rather than making threats or ultimatums, talk about what changes can be made in their life to help them stop smoking.
  • If your child agrees to quit, be patient and supportive as they go through the process.
  • Set a good example by not smoking yourself. Parents who smoke are more likely to have kids who smoke.
  • Know if your kids have friends that smoke or vape. Talk with them about how to refuse a cigarette or e-cigarette.
  • Explain the health dangers and the unpleasant side effects smoking can have on their appearance (such as bad breath, discolored teeth and nails).
  • Establish a smoke-free policy in your home. Don’t allow anyone to smoke or vape indoors at any time.

Authors: Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith, M.A.

Four Ways Women Can Experience Freedom In God

Women are frequently confronted with a plethora of vices that jeopardize their ability to live out their true freedom in Christ.

We should remember John 8:36 (NLT), which says, “So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free indeed.”

As it relates to our freedom, there are four areas in particular where we will all face and overcome the enemy’s lies. Nonetheless, God is faithful, and God’s Word is true.

Let us take solace in the fact that we can keep our God-given freedom and choose to believe we are everything He says we are. Our identity is defined solely by the truth of God’s holy Word.

Here Are 4 Areas Women Can Experience Freedom in Christ

1. Freedom From Sin & Guilt

First and foremost, when we accept God’s gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, we are eternally free from the bonds of sin. This is unchangeable on Earth and in Heaven. In Romans 8:1-4, the Bible assures us (NLT),

“As a result, those who belong to Christ Jesus are no longer condemned. And because you belong to him, the life-giving Spirit’s power has set you free from the power of sin, which leads to death.

Because of the weakness of our sinful nature, the law of Moses was unable to save us. So God accomplished what the law could not.

He sent his own Son in the same body that we sinners have. And in that body, God declared the end of sin’s dominion over us by offering his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.

He did this to fully satisfy the just requirement of the law for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but rather the Spirit.”

Even though the enemy of our soul will always try to convince us that we must earn our salvation, that we must work in order to keep our salvation, or that we can lose our salvation if we make a mistake, the truth of God’s Word always points us back to Calvary.

Because salvation is a gift that we could not have initiated, we simply receive it through Jesus’ finished work. Does this imply that we are incapable of sin? Obviously not.

We will not be able to live sinless lives because of our humanity. However, the fact that we can sin does not imply that we are enslaved to sin.

As Christ’s disciples, our goal is to accept God’s grace as manifested in the sanctification process. To put it another way, we are all still works in progress.

However, just because we have God’s grace, we do not seek to actively practice sin. We can quickly repent and be reminded of our freedom in Jesus when we sin.

We can no longer be enslaved to sin because we understand that God’s power dwells within us, enabling us to stand firm in our liberty through Christ Jesus.

Believers should always strive to live a life that brings glory and honor to our precious gift of salvation.

2. Freedom from the Past

We can expect to be reminded of our past on a regular basis. This refers to the person we were, the way we lived, and the ungodly actions we committed prior to accepting Jesus as Savior and Lord.

We may be triggered by someone else or experience flashbacks as a result of our memories.

The devil is so cunning and devious that he will use any scenario to make us feel bad about ourselves.

Poor choices reflect our old nature and can appear to flood our souls at any time given the right set of circumstances.

And, if we’re being honest, we might have made some decisions since accepting Jesus into our lives that we’re not so proud of. All of this can make us feel embarrassed or ashamed about our past.

Walking in freedom from our past necessitates a deliberate and constant push forward to the future we have in Christ Jesus. God provides us with the ability to rise above our past and not let it hinder our present or future.

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,” Paul says in Philippians 3:13-14 (NLT), “but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

As a former persecutor of Christians, I’m sure Paul was reminded of his past on a regular basis. Instead, he chose to keep his gaze fixed on Jesus.

We, too, are running a “faith race” and must persevere in the face of obstacles from our past. To succeed in their race, runners must stay in their lane and look ahead, not back. That is also true for us.

We, too, must choose to keep our eyes on the future and the end goal that God has for us in order to live free from our past.

3. Freedom From Fears

No matter how brave we are, we all experience fear at some point in our lives. Fear can appear in a variety of ways. Fears of failure, rejection, and inadequacy are particularly frightening to women.

Fear of failure can be paralyzing because it prevents us from acting because we are afraid that our actions will result in loss rather than achievement.

We believe that attempting success is pointless because we will only end up experiencing defeat. Perfectionism can be linked to a fear of failure.

We fear failure if the only way we are willing to try to succeed at something is if we are assured there is no way we can fail, or if we delay action.

Fear of rejection can pierce us to the core. We must face the risk of not being accepted after mustering enough courage to become vulnerable.

Sometimes we overcome our fear of failure and act boldly, only to face the reality of rejection over the very thing we took a leap of faith to pursue.

Have you ever visited there? I certainly have, and rejection in any form is a difficult pill to swallow.

Not to mention the fear of inadequacy. Simply put, this is when we don’t feel good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough – you fill in the blank. Insecurity is laced with the fear of inadequacy.

We pick ourselves apart, judging every flaw. We allow everything we are or are not good at to be magnified to the point where we feel inadequate.

This fear of inadequacy affects how we perceive ourselves, project ourselves, and limit our ability to receive the abundant life that God has designed and desires for us to live.

Check Out: Is it a Sin to Marry a Person Who is Divorced?

But the good news is that we can be fearless! “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline,” says 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT). According to Isaiah 43:1 (NLT), “Don’t be afraid; I’ve ransomed you.

I’ve addressed you by name; you’re mine.” God owns us, and He promises to rescue and redeem us from our fear. God desires that we be filled with peace rather than fear.

When fear threatens our freedom, we can call on the Lord because He will deliver us.

He promises that when we are afraid, we can trust Him; we can run The Rock and be confident that fear will not steal our freedom.

4.Freedom  from People’s Opinion’

When we fully live in the freedom of Christ Jesus, we are free from the opinions of others.

We are not living fully in the freedom Jesus extends to us if we care so much about what others think of us that it influences our decisions or the way we view and feel about ourselves.

This frequently leads us down a path of living to please others, which can have the same effect as an unhealthy addiction. In this case, it is an addiction to men’s approval rather than the sole satisfaction that should keep us from having God’s approval.

We would have less comparison but more collaboration, less competition but more camaraderie, and less contention but more celebration of each other if more women truly lived free from the opinions of others, especially among Christian women in the Body of Christ.

There would be no need to get caught up in image and status illusions. Rather, we would value championing our Christian identity and cheering each other on in genuine, authentic ways that support our fellow sisters.

Who would have thought that something as simple as other people’s opinions could trip us up and cause us to stumble in the area of our freedom? But we must remember that it is often the small foxes in life that accumulate over time, eventually having a significant (negative) impact.

According to Galatians 5:1 (NLT), “As a result, Christ has truly set us free. Make certain that you remain free and do not become enslaved to the law again.”

As a result, we must be vigilant and on guard against any attempt to yoke us to any bondage of this world. We are to love others but never be bound by their opinions or become obsessed with pleasing them.

May we always strive to please God above all else and to keep the freedom we find in Him.

We will walk in freedom for the rest of our lives if we devote ourselves to this cause. “I will walk in freedom, because I have devoted myself to your commandments,” declares Psalm 119:45 (NLT).

The more we root ourselves in the truth of scripture, the more we will be able to use it as a sword against the enemy’s lies whenever our blood-bought liberties are threatened.

There is no challenge to the liberty we have in Christ Jesus that God’s power has not already overcome. We have triumphed, and we can live in complete freedom.

Simple Steps to a Life of Health and Healing

If you want a balanced, productive life – a life full of health and healing – you must surrender everything to God…trust Him… and don’t be shy. You’ll discover not just a serenity that “surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7), but also the power to overcome sins and other impediments to experiencing His blessings.

We establish healthier behaviors when we seek God and put our trust in Him. Our bodies feel revitalized, and our thoughts are clearer. We have a closer relationship with Him, which gives us more confidence in prayer.

You may also like: Rebuke Fear. 30+Verses To Help You Conquer Fear

Our lives can be filled with tension and concern if we do not have this trust. Doubt and fear can overwhelm us. We can be fearful and insecure. Lack of faith in God can result in bad feelings such as jealously and rage, which can have an impact on every aspect of our well-being. We may become defensive, self-centered, and depressed.

Simultaneously, we must avoid placing our trust in the wrong things or people. We can be duped into pursuing the wrong aims or become trapped by Satan’s trickery and the world’s hollow promises. Consider your life today. How much faith do you have in God? Do you truly believe His Word is true?

Taking a Step Of Faith

“Your word is a candle to my feet and a light to my path,” says Psalm 119:105. Too often, we desire a lamp that will light our road for miles ahead, while the Lord just promises that we shall have His guidance for the next step we must take.

Remember Abraham, honored as “the father of all who believe” (Romans 4:11). “He went forth, not knowing where he was going” when God called him to take a leap of faith (Hebrews 11:8). Step by step, he was willing to trust the Lord and follow His plan, even if he didn’t know where it would go.

When we face uncertainty about our health or other worries, it can be tempting to reclaim control of our lives from God. Abraham and Sarah accomplished this in some ways when they hatched a plot to have a child through Sarah’s handmaid, Hagar (Genesis 16). That must have made perfect sense to them at the time, but their decision has had long-term ramifications. What went wrong for them? They trusted in their own creativity and fleshly skill rather than in God’s plan.

If you find yourself getting off track, as Abraham and Sarah did, it’s time to return to the beginning of the process of finding God’s will. Return your life, desires, aspirations, dreams, gifts, and abilities to Him. Spend time with Him, asking Him to reveal His plan. But keep in mind that you’re unlikely to hear clearly from the Lord until you’ve totally committed to doing His will – whatever that may be!

He is a Great God.

According to Deuteronomy 33:27, “the eternal God is your refuge, and beneath are the everlasting arms.” Isn’t that a lovely description of the comfort and peace you can have when you put your life in the hands of the Lord and His “everlasting arms”? Some days you may feel like a tightrope walker, cautiously attempting to keep your equilibrium. But you can be rest assured that the Lord is your steadfast “net,” ready to catch you if you fall. The more you give your life to God, the greater the depth of His love and faithfulness you will find.

Rebuke Fear. 30+Verses To Help You Conquer Fear

Fear is a spirit that causes feelings. When God commanded Joshua not to be afraid, He was not telling him not to “feel” fear; He was telling him not to give in to the fear he was experiencing.

I frequently advise individuals to “do it afraid.” That simply means that when fear strikes, you should do whatever God tells you to do anyway. Do it even if your knees are trembling or your palms are sweating. That is what it means to “be not afraid.

Also Check Out: The Secret To Defeating Anxiety

We might be thankful that we have Scripture to turn to when we are terrified. God’s promises encourage us to keep going, no matter how we feel. The Bible will provide you with the faith you need to overcome any fear.

33 Bible Verses to Remind Us – We Do Not Have to Fear:

1.  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

2.  “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  ~ Psalm 56:3

3.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7

4.  “Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” ~ John 14:27

5.  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

6.  “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” ~ 1 John 4:18

7.  “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” ~ Psalm 94:19

8.  “But now, this is what the Lord says…Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” ~ Isaiah 43:1

9.  “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” ~ Proverbs 12:25

10. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” ~ Psalm 23:4

11. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” ~ Joshua 1:9

12. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ~ Matthew 6:34

13. “Humble yourselves, then, under God’s mighty hand, so that he will lift you up in his own good time.  Leave all your worries with him, because he cares for you.” ~ 1 Peter 5:6-7

14. “Tell everyone who is discouraged, Be strong and don’t be afraid! God is coming to your rescue…” ~ Isaiah 35:4

15. “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” ~ Luke 12:22-26

16. “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” ~ Psalm 27:1

17. “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” ~ Psalm 55:22

18. “Immediately he spoke to them and said, ‘Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’” ~ Mark 6:50

19. “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

20. “’For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.  Do not be afraid, for I myself will help you,’ declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.” ~ Isaiah 41:13-14

21. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” ~ Psalm 46:1

22. “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?  The Lord is with me; he is my helper.” ~ Psalm 118:6-7

23. “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” ~ Proverbs 29:25

24. “He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.  He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” ~ Mark 4:39-40

25. “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.” Psalm 34:7

26. “But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.” ~ 1 Peter 3:14

27. “I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.” ~ Psalm 34:4

28. “Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you.” ~ Deuteronomy 3:22

29. “Then he placed his right hand on me and said: ‘Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last.’” ~ Revelation 1:17

30. “Jesus told him, ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe.’” ~ Mark 5:36

31. “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” ~ Romans 8:38-39

32. “The Lord your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” ~ Zephaniah 3:17

33. “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”…He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.  A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you…For he will command his angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways…“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him…” from Psalm 91:1-16

verses about fear


Isaiah 35:4

“Say to those who have an anxious heart, ‘Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.’ ”


Prayer : Thank You, Father, that I don’t have to succumb to fear. Regardless of my feelings, I can press forward with Your assistance and perform what You have asked me to do. Thank You, Father, that I can do it with fear.

Eyes Contact That Changed Lives

When the average person stares into someone’s eyes, they cannot see much about that individual. Of course, if they wear their heart on their sleeve, you might be able to tell how they are feeling, or if they had a long, sleepless night with little sleep and their eyes were exhausted. Aside from that, looking someone in the eyes usually does not reveal anything about them. That is the purpose of words, dialogue, and communication.

What if I told you there was someone somewhere in the globe who did not follow these rules? Someone who could tell you everything about someone just by looking them in the eyes. Their most intimate secrets. Longings. What kept them awake at night Someone who could speak but chose not to, because what was the use of inquiring about someone’s life when they could just look them in the eyes and know everything?

Oliver Newman matched the description almost exactly. If you asked his classmates, Oliver was a really strange being. When he was in primary school, the other students avoided him because they believed he was strange because he was frequently caught staring at them, interested by what he was learning about them.

“Don’t look Oliver in the eyes- he might stare you to death!” They mocked.

Oliver didn’t seem to mind. He was alright with them making fun of him; in fact, he didn’t notice it most of the time since he was too preoccupied with peering into people’s eyes and experiencing every minute of their life. It was exhilarating for him.

He discovered that Millie had just gotten a new puppy and that she had been thinking about him a lot at school. Jacob was teaching his older special needs sister to read, he discovered. He discovered that Fredrick’s mother had recently been promoted and that they were finally leaving their aunt’s place. Oliver could tell Fredrick was overjoyed about it.

But he didn’t always learn positive things about people. Oliver used to take the bus to school before he acquired his driver’s license since his family was too busy to drive him. One day, as he walked toward the bus stop, he noticed that one person was on his way to buy a car he had been saving up for his entire life, and that another was holding a celebration for her one-year-old and was on her way to pick up a cake. Nothing out of the ordinary, just what he expected to see.

He approached the bus stop, and the bus arrived a few seconds later. Oliver saw that the bus driver, an older man in his sixties or seventies with graying hair, appeared depressed. Oliver went onto the bus, desperately trying to make eye contact with this man, curious as to why he appeared gloomy. As if everything had ended. But he didn’t glance at him, or anyplace else for that matter. He kept his head bowed and his eyes fixed ahead of him.

Oliver frowned as he walked onto the bus and took a seat. Maybe this man was having a horrible day; he must be alright. Oliver pondered, attempting to persuade himself.

However, as Oliver walked off the bus, the man was staring at him, so Oliver decided to steal a glance, which he quickly regretted. In compassion, his heart had sank to the floor. He wanted to hug or talk to the man, but before he knew it, he had walked off the bus, and it had drove away, leaving Oliver standing in the middle of the sidewalk, trying not to cry.

Mind you, he had seen every aspect of everyone he had ever made eye contact with’s life. Every heartbreaking moment. Every single fatality. Everyone whose dreams had been dashed. But he’d never seen anything quite like this before.

Anthony was the name of this individual. When he was seven years old, his parents were killed in a fire perpetrated by his uncle, and he had spent eleven years in the severely cruel foster care system, never to be adopted. He moved in with his fiancée, the love of his life, when he was eighteen, and she became his wife two years later. She was his entire world. Scout, a stray dog they had rescued, and his fiance  worked together to gradually rehabilitate him from his ordeal. She became pregnant while unknowingly suffering from cancer. She gave birth to the baby but died during the delivery, and it died three weeks later. Scout was hit by a car and killed the next day. Anthony fell into a deep depression and was only saved a few years ago by another dog, a cocker spaniel puppy. Scout was named after his previous dog. Everything was back to normal.

Until Scout died a week ago, the last thing holding him together.

Remember, Oliver was just thirteen years old when he learned about his tragic life tale. He’d never learned something so awful about a person before, and something inside him told him he had to do something about it. He was worried about this individual.

So, instead of going to the library as he had planned, he went to a local pet store. He’d chosen to give the old man a puppy as a gift.

He walked into the shop with purpose. For the first time in his life, he avoided making eye contact with anyone else, partly because he didn’t want to be distracted, but also because he was slightly concerned about what he might learn about these people. So he walked over to the dogs, keeping his head down.

All of the cartons were empty, much to Oliver’s dismay. There were no more dogs. He sighed and was about to go when he decided to ask an employee where else he might be able to get a puppy, because he wasn’t ready to abandon this objective just yet.

“Hello, I was wondering where I could maybe adopt a dog?” He asked an employee nicely, avoiding eye contact because he wasn’t quite ready to do that again.

The worker’s pupils dilated. “Our final dog was just taken to the… er, chambers to be, well, put to death…” She spoke slowly, trying not to disturb Oliver because he was a youngster. “I can go rush to see if she’s, oh, y’know… still adoptable?”

“You mean you haven’t  killed it  yet?” Oliver replied solemnly.

“Um, yeah.” I’ll investigate.” She went away at a slower pace than Oliver believed was appropriate, given that these few seconds could make the difference between life and death for the dog.

Anxiety made his stomach churn.

Thankfully, the woman returned a few minutes later with a little, fluffy dog. Oliver had never owned a dog before, so he had no idea what breed she was, but she was incredibly cute and Oliver was confident Anthony would adore her.

“How do I address her?” Oliver inquired enquiringly.

“I’m not sure.” I suppose she doesn’t have one. And because she was already on the euthanasia list to be put to death twenty minutes ago, she does not need to be formally adopted, so you can simply take her, we’re closing shortly anyhow.”

Oliver’s eyes widened, but he didn’t complain as he went out of the store holding the puppy.

He knew that if he walked quickly enough, he’d be able to make it to the bus stop in time for the next bus, so he sped up into an uncomfortable sprint—difficult it’s to run with a writhing dog in your arms, no matter how small.

As Oliver approached the bus stop, he considered how he would handle the situation. He couldn’t be too blatant about it, or the man would wonder how Oliver knew he needed a dog. He soon had everything figured out, just as the bus arrived.

When Oliver stepped onboard the bus, it was the same bus driver, Anthony.

Instead of taking a seat, Oliver approached the man and cleared his throat.

Anthony raised his head slowly and grunted, as if asking Oliver what he wanted.

“Please excuse me, sir.” I found this puppy on the side of the road, and my mother would never allow me to keep her; would you mind looking after her?”

Anthony grunted once more. “No. Please take your seat, son. You don’t know who I am.”

Oliver began to panic. This was not going as he had hoped.

“Excuse me, sir. She desperately needs a home. Scout is her name…”

Anthony’s eyes widened as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

“You’re a scout, huh?”

He grabbed the dog and gently petted it.

“How about it?” He muttered something.

Oliver waited for him to take the dog, holding his breath.

As the dog licked Anthony’s face, his modest smile had blossomed into a full-fledged grin. When he gazed up at Oliver, Oliver was taken aback by how much had changed.

His vibe had changed from gloomy and broken to hopeful and… joyful.

“I think I’m going to keep her then,” he joked. “Thank you, son. Just wanted to let you know.. I’ve been going through a rough patch. If I’m being honest, this feels like a miracle.”

Oliver bit his inner cheek as he battled back a smile.

“Take careful care of her,” he said as he took his seat.

That felt… nice. Oliver reflected to himself. Oliver recognized that with his… ability to understand people in ways that no one else could, he had the power to make things happen for them that they are not even aware they needed. He frequently performed “miracles” for others. He brought mothers and sons back together. He gave significant sums of money to people in ingenious methods. He delivered children to women who had lost custody of their own children. He unwittingly hooked people up on dates that would shape the rest of their life. It made his daily life more thrilling and cheerful, and it made the individuals who received these miracles even more pleased. What made his day changed the lives of others.

The Secret To Defeating Fear

You shall not need to fight in this battle; take your positions, stand still, and see the deliverance of the Lord [Who is] with you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Fear not nor be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you2 Chronicles 20:17

We all go through different kind of struggles in life. Nobody is exempt from issues and difficulties, which we sometimes refer to as “the storms of life.” The good news is that when we confront challenges, God already knows what He will do. He has a strategy to help us win. According to Second Chronicles 20, we are not required to fight our own conflicts since they are the Lord’s and not ours. All that is required of us is that we take our positions and hold them until our breakthroughs occur.

What does that position entail? It is worship, in my opinion.

If we don’t have a strong faith in God, the first thing that happens once a storm enters our lives is that we lose our tranquility and start to feel fear. When Satan, our enemy, plants hypothetical scenarios in our minds, we frequently start to believe the worst-case scenario will occur.

We should be aware of what is happening as soon as this occurs: The enemy is attempting to prevent us from moving forward in God’s will and experiencing His beneficial plans for our life. God desires for us to be completely fearless. He doesn’t want us to suffer, and He doesn’t want fear to keep us from following His instructions with confidence.

Knowing God’s perfect, unwavering love for us on a deep level helps us to recognize that He will always take care of our needs. Eventually, such awareness frees us from fear. As we get to know God and realize that He constantly looks out for us and provides for our needs, we start to unwind.

While true (total, perfect) love drives fear outside and eliminates all traces of anxiety, it does not exist in love. Because the concept of punishment is associated with fear, a person who is fearful has not yet fully developed their love. They have not yet reached the full perfection of love. 1 John 4:18

When we concentrate on Him rather than our fears, God intervenes on our behalf.

Fearful thoughts or sentiments are merely the enemy’s attempt to draw our attention away from God and His plan for our life. At certain points in our lives, we may experience fear, but we can rely on God. And even when we are afraid, we can still act if we need to.

God started teaching me this “do it afraid” philosophy years ago. I realized that when God advised Joshua to “fear not” (see Joshua 8:1), He was actually cautioning him against allowing fear to hold him back from pursuing God’s plan for his life. Rather than allowing fear to rule him, he needed to be strong and courageous and to keep pushing forward. In order to taste the triumph of carrying out God’s plan and take advantage of what God had for him, he needed to fight and triumph over his fear.

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one that is full of power, love, and a sound mind instead. NKJV 2 Timothy 1:7

The first thing we should do when we experience fear or start to have fearful thoughts is to pray. Pray for anything and have no fear, I frequently advise. We should commit to seeking God until we are certain that we have emotionally and mentally conquered our concerns. We are turning our attention away from our fears as we pursue God. We honor Him for Who He Is and thank Him for all the good He has done, is doing, and will do in the future.

God has wonderful things in store for us, including fresh opportunities. We’ll have to exercise more trust to receive them. This frequently entails acting in ways we don’t particularly want to or even believe to be effective. Our faith and awe in God must be bigger than our thoughts, desires, or emotions.

The enemy sends us through a variety of storms. He also tries to prevent us from experiencing all that God has in store for us by using fear in a variety of forms. Even though we could experience dread, we must keep our eyes fixed on God. He will give us the bravery and trust we need to accept the peace, victory, and blessings He has in store for us. He has a battle plan for us.

We shall witness God fight our battles for us and experience joyful victories if our lives are abundant with thanksgiving for God’s powerful deeds and worship for Who God is.

Daily Devotional : Peace (2 Minutes Read)

The state of Kansas had turned into a battlefield. Following the passage of the Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854 by the Congress of the United States, the fight broke out. This established that Kansas would become a recognized territory, but it left it up to the people living there to decide whether or not slavery would be legal in the area.

In the years that followed, pro-slavery and anti-slavery groups alike descended upon Kansas in large numbers. Because of how frequently these two groups fought, the state of Kansas got the nickname “Bloody Kansas.”

Despite the unpredictability of the times, a large number of pioneers went to Kansas in the hopes of finding a place to call home. The majority of these pioneers came to the conclusion that they could not succeed without God’s assistance.

One of the early settlers was a woman named Christine Hokanson. When she wrote, “How grateful we are to God,” she encapsulated the feelings of a great number of people. She thought that this was a “great country” to live in. She was aware, as were a great number of others, that God “aided and guided us through the trials and vicissitudes of the pioneer days.” She was aware that they were being showered with His “abundant benefits.”

Pioneers such as Hokanson testified that God was reliable, that He guided and provided for them, that He protected them and gave them peace despite the unsettling conditions they were facing.

Those early settlers were not the only ones to whom God made his promises. Because God has made His amazing promises available to all those who seek Him and put their trust in Him.

These assurances apply to you in their entirety. Call on Him . Trust and depend Him. He has the ability to calm you down in any storm. He is the essential element necessary to bring goodness to you, your family, your nation, and the entire globe.


Write a prayer asking God to keep those who live in war-torn nations safe.

This is your reflection for today